The Worst Thing I've Ever Seen Ever

Somehow or another I ran into quotes about this band brokeNCYDE. One came from one of my favorite writers, Warren Ellis. When a 40something English guy talks about it, it's hit the big time. This is brokeNCYDE.



Wow this band sucks. The video looks like it had a budget of $1.85. It's full of ugly half-asian guys with emo haircuts, half skinny half fat. And that one guy keeps screaming while smiling. The new Beavis and Buttheads they're rumored to be making are going to have a field day with shit like this.

Talkin' 'Bout My Generation

So a movie was recently announced entitled The Social Network, written by Aaron Sorkin and directed by David Fincher. It's long been shorthanded to "The Facebook Movie." On various message boards (probably mostly the Hell that is AICN) posters have long been bragging about how pointless new social media is and how they have integrity in abstaining from it (it's either integrity, being old and grumpy and/or not having many friends. Can't remember which) or making stupid comments on how a movie based on a website can't be any good.

Is everyone on crazy pills?

First of all, anything can be turned into a good movie. Anything. Books, songs, theme park rides, products. I can't imagine someone saying they were doing a movie about cocaine. "Why watch a movie when I can snort it?" Or a movie about basketball. "Why watch a movie when I can watch a game?"

Besides that, it totally misses the point. This looks like a Pirates of Silicon Valley-type expose that goes into all the shady dealings behind the history of Facebook and the bizarre "creator" behind it, Mark Zuckerberg. And personally it gets into one of my favorite subjects: immediate history. There was a reason why I enjoyed W as much as I did. I think it's fascinating to take a look at where you're going while you're going there. And the trailer kicks ass, too.

Life Is Worth Living For... Heels

The greatest job in the world, for me, would be to be the bad guy in pro wrestling. You go up there, cut a promo insulting the audience, your bosses and co-workers, cheat and hit people with large objects, and go on to do it another day. It's the perfect job for people with frustration and anger issues, as you get to get violent, but safe violent. You can bitch and scream to your heart's content, and it only makes you more capable at your job.

Chris Jericho is perhaps one of the more recognizable faces today. He's been on reality competitions, TMZ, and is now the host of Downfall on ABC. This is when he's decided that enough was enough, and it was time to ram someone's head into a flat-screen monitor.


Before emo, there was grunge, and between the two cultures, Raven lives. This guy was my hero in high school, because who doesn't feel like an outcast in high school, whether you were one or not? I've also actually met this guy on two separate occasions, in a Waffle House and comic shop. No wonder I liked the guy.


My current favorite has to be "The Straight-Edge Superstar" CM Punk. First, the long hair and beard look badass, not to mention the G.I. Joe tattoo. He actually runs somewhat near the Jericho "I'm better than you" attitude, but skews more towards insane cult leader and arrogant lifestyle advocate. I love the way he mocks the audience.


There will be an unenlightened few who have no idea who any of these people are. A few more of you might know who Andy Kaufman is, star of Taxi and the most famous heel in history.


And to those of you that roll your eyes and challenge my intellect, I will just assume that you are among the special, anointed few who have never watched a reality show, a family sitcom, or anything on MTV or VH1. In that case... nice to meet you, Harold Bloom.

With The Lights Out

So I guess I never turned the power on in my name, so ten weeks later they shut it off. Luckily, I had work that day and hung out with my friend that night, so I wasn't that bad off.

In fact, if you ever want a temporary pick-me-up, go without something you take for granted for a day. Then, when you get it back, you're just so happy you have it you could be set on fire and still walk with a spring in your step.

Pure Motherfucking Magic

So a female friend of mine said this blog might seem like kind of a downer, at least skimming it. So in order to counteract that, I present this song that will hopefully explain my underlying optimism deep inside.

Insane Clown Posse - Miracles - watch more funny videos

And yes, smartasses, this is old. I found out about it in April thanks to "Toucher and Rich" on 98.5 The Sports Hub. But really, this song will never not be funny to me... kinda like "Another Love Song," also by Insane Clown Posse. Wouldn't it be weird if those two guys were subversive geniuses? I wonder if they've written any episodes of Party Down under aliases.

Can't Sleep, Clown Will Eat Me

I've been having difficulties sleeping lately. I don't know why that is. Or I do know, and it's an existential horror unlike any imagined. Or maybe I can't sleep, because the clown will eat me.

Fun fact: that phrase ended up becoming so popular it was used in an Alice Cooper song. And two signs at a wrestling show.

Well, at least I'm not alone in this.

Well, I'm sure everything worked out for-

...crap.

Blogs Are A Pain In The Ass

Sorry, Buddha.

I'm trying to update this thing on a semi-regular basis, but I don't always have things to write about. I don't really want to vent on any and all things I may come across that bum me out, piss me off, or some combination of the two (it's usually a combination of the two) because then it's some aggro-emo trip. Which is what I'm trying to not be about. Plus, my slight OCD tendencies don't want me to have posts too similar with each other too close together, hence why I'm not doing another "Life Is Worth Living For..." post now. (Hint: it'll be about heels. Not the shoe kind.)

So for now, enjoy this peaceful song by some French people that were later sued by the Asian guy chanting for most of it.

My Channel101 Nights...

I first discovered Channel101 when I was reading an interview with Community creator Dan Harmon at the AVClub. The actual interview didn't really get into the website, it was a random commenters posting a link to a series called "Phone Sexxers" that made me click and take a look. I found a lot of semi-famous pieces of work on the site, such as "Yacht Rock," "Chad Vader" and "The 'Bu."

The purpose of the site is to get exposure and experience under the belt for young, up-an-coming hungry amateur filmmakers. You have one month to write, shoot and send in a five-minute maximum pilot, and should it end up in competition and voted in online, you are free to continue the series until it's eventually voted off, although some choose to self-cancel.



This really stoked both the creative side of me, and the side of me that needs an outside impetus to get it in gear. I don't know if I ever would have started writing plays or screenplays if I hadn't enrolled in classes that would fail me should I not finish. The somewhat rigid structure of Channel101 gives me some guidelines to work with, and prevents me from getting too complicated or overthinking things due to the fact that the shows are five minutes max. As it is, I've already completely scripted one show and started two more. I think if I can actually light a fire under some asses around here, this would be a good way for me to get some hands-on experience, as well as a good resume booster, as well as an ego boost as all the so-called amateur filmmakers around these parts get to suck it.

Life Is Worth Living For... Flights Of The Conchords

Another thing I want to make a regular occurrence on here are the things that make life worth living. There aren't a lot, so the entirety of them will probably be discussed on this page. Right there for your reference.

During the summer, I got really, really into HBO's Flight Of The Conchords. Great timing, since the show has been off the air permanently for a year now. Nonetheless, the magic that Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie created will last a lifetime.

Flight Of The Conchords was a great show for the modern loser. It follows two hipsters from New Zealand who try to make it in New York, despite the fact that they're constantly broke, have only one fan-a creepy stalker, an incompetent manager and are forever being dumped by various women. Man, however can I relate to a show whose heroes are poverty-stricken clueless idiots who get thrown around by life and women?

My first exposure to the duo was in laughing when I read articles about them, and they joked they were New Zealand's fourth most popular digi-folk-pop-comedy duo, after a tribute band that was a little better than them. Then my freshman year at school I got compared to Jemaine quite a bit. I hope he's thought of as the sexy one.



It took me until the summer of '09 to buy the first season and watch it, of which I only saw the first disc for reasons I won't get into here. Finally this year I got over myself and watched all of them after buying season 2, along with season 1 again so I could give it as a gift. I believed that much.

The show, in true non-American based television fashion, ended after two short seasons. Having exhausted their complete backlog of songs for the first season, the Conchords had to write another season's worth for the second, then decided that it wasn't worth the hassle to make a third. Honestly, though, I'd have watched the show without songs. The humor relies on the very common trope of the 21st century of dryness, irony and awkward situations/heroes. I'd easily put the writing on the level of the much beloved Office and Arrested Development. Strangely, though, the show had somewhat of a love it or hate it reaction, at least online. I think people didn't necessarily hate the show so much as the people that liked it, a kneejerk reaction to twee hipsters. Hey, I hate those assholes too and I still fell in love with the show.

But obviously the main focus of the show, and what set it apart, was the inventive music-videos with the clever songs that accompanied them. I think my two favorites are either "Too Many Dicks"

Too Many Dicks On The Dance Floor from Brian Kessler on Vimeo.

or "Sugalumps"

Sugalumps from Brian Kessler on Vimeo.

As said before, even though many of the situations they get into are over the top (there was one season 2 episode where Bret buying a mug for $2.79 leads to them selling their guitars and becoming prostitutes) their struggles are still relatable, and I've used many of their troubles to help me through many of my own. Over Fourth of July weekend, I occasionally admit I had hurt feelings...

Hurt Feelings from Brian Kessler on Vimeo.

If you've ever had relationship problems or drama, they have you covered there as well...

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

I don't really know what lies ahead for the Conchords. If it's too much trouble to write songs for your popular HBO show, it doesn't really create hope that they're going to continue on. Regardless of what happens, they've still blessed us with 22 episodes of greatness, which you can read about in their quite thorough Wikipedia entry. Another example of the love shown to these two gods among men.

Huge Mistake #1- Relying On Unreliable People

I'm forcing myself to make an entry although I really don't feel like writing because I want to keep this thing somewhat active, although at present it's futile because no one knows it exists and I'm sure people would be loathe to scroll back endlessly should I amass a big catalogue of entries.

That was a long-assed sentence.

Having a blog is probably more for the writer than the reader in any case. Basically a blog can be nothing more than a public diary, wherein you carefully decide what thoughts and opinions you want to share and have others perhaps comment on and what thoughts and opinions will stay buried inside forever.

I've also decided on making my first "real" entry on something that will become a series on this blog, huge mistakes I've made.

The first huge mistake I'll talk about is my ability to rely on unreliable people. Of course, I'm not saying I'm Captain Stability myself. I can flake with the best of them, but I like to believe my excuses are valid and my intentions good, and the occurrences ultimately rarer.

The probably childhood example probably comes from having a mother who perhaps wasn't exactly ready and raring to go for the job, but like most things about childhood, it's boring and pointless.

The more recent examples stem from when I lived in Atlanta. The ones I have at the most ready are assuming my buddy was ready to move out with me before he actually was. He later was ready just a few short months later. I declined and he then proceeded to move in with two attractive females and come thisclose to a threeway. Life is funny like that. I had also convinced myself somehow that there would be absolutely no way I could ever write a script or complete a creative project without someone else's help (largely his since he had expressed interest, had a similar personality and also could have used a quick hotshot to fame and fortune.) One Playwriting and Screenwriting course later each and I realize just how stupid that was. I just needed someone to get on my ass and make me. And once the initial fear hurdle was jumped, the floodgates were opened and I was free to write dozens of pages on tens of projects. All of them about mixed metaphors.

When I moved up to Kansas City, I had hoped that my trend towards attracting unreliable people would be over, as would any and all habits and attributes I disliked about myself. How wrong I was. For one, moving does not automatically give you a six pack. Also, I still have more flakes than a Head & Shoulders commercial.

I seem to have forged a double-edged sword with a combination of not attracting a ton of people, with exceptions to others who don't attract a ton of people. It always mystifies me when I see some of my acquaintances interact on my newsfeed on Facebook and how they have groups several people strong and each one is constantly posting on every other one's wall.

My compatriots consist of a young engaged woman who has canceled all but the first outside-of-school get-together. I have another engaged friend who has her own stress and insecurities to overcome, and so far this summer we've managed to torpedo two seemingly ironclad opportunities to hang out due largely to not being able to get out of our own way.

I can't hate on them, though, because it's not really their fault. The first engaged girl has invited me to birthday parties and trivia, but ehhh. The other one is my closest friend up here, and still one of my closest friends overall, but she's got her own life to try to wrangle. Whether or not we see each other before she moves is probably not a big concern in the grand scheme of things.

The majority of my annoyance is directed at another group. Last school year I had met someone who had many of the same faults as I did. Procrastination. Low self-esteem combined with high self-esteem when it came to work. General apathy. Major boredom. We hung out a lot and even talked of forming a production company named for our secret, petty desire to make all of our doubters and haters and human obstacles clench their fists in envy and failure. Then she and they fell off the face of the earth, kind of. Now, ironically, I've forged ahead with the production company and she and they have joined the list of people for me to show up.

(It's kind of funny/sad what our little daydreams were. Essentially people that we disliked would find out through the grapevine that we were "making it" and having stories on This American Life or selling shows to Adult Swim or what-have-you, and they would rage and howl at how those assholes could do it, and how, being in a somewhat competitive field such as English where everyone is trying to get the same editorial positions or screenwriting slots from studios it stings everytime it's not you... but especially when it turned out to be us.)

And I've no doubt that a showing up they shall endure. I mean, when your post-grad plans are basically consisting of "I dunno," competition is not really on the forefront. I've known people like this, and while Buddha knows what I'll be doing in ten years, something tells me I could go to certain restaurants and find them still serving me food. I'm writing and planning as hard as ever. The waiting is all.

I suppose I could look inward and see what drives me to these people. I don't live on campus like my engaged friends. As for the other flakes, we admittedly have much in common in regards to pop culture and goals. I'm never going to go to a frat party or card game or sporting event, more than likely. Will I see Electric Six or LCD Soundsystem should they come to Kansas City? Probably.

Sheesh. This turned out to be a long entry. I can only wonder who is still reading. My basic point is that I need to, and should, learn a better self-reliance, so I can more easily accomplish my goals whether they match someone else's or not. Because my goals also rely on creating jealousy and self-hatred, and that's worth working for.

To keep this blog interesting and visual, I'm gonna put in pictures and videos. I was gonna use "Never There" by Cake, since it kind of fits, but I couldn't find the official video. So here's something half-assed I found on Vimeo. Enjoy!

Lib Dub - Never There from Adam Needs on Vimeo.

"I've Made A Huge Mistake."

Oh, if only I had a nickel every time I said that or made one. I've be a chamillionaire.

This will be my general, all-purpose personal blog.

This isn't much of an entry because I already wrote this last night but my craptastic AT&T internet swallowed it whole.

In the meantime, enjoy this compilation video from Arrested Development, a show like me, in that it was largely ignored, ahead of its time and a noble failure.



And for the record, I made a huge mistake in posting this from Dailymotion. The quality is poor and there's ads. I didn't think there'd be anything worse than YouTube, but here we are.